Shopping With BYB

I'm a stylish guy, but I don't appreciate retailers ripping me a new asshole every time I have to update my threads. The price of jeans just doesn't cover the wear and tear that my thick can of Mortein does to the fly area of my duds. My job stipulates that I must maintain a certain standard of presentation and portray an image of success at all times, so I can't just dress for comfort in track pants, I've gotta display my meat like a proud butcher with a slab of A-grade beef.

So after my trunk split through another pair of my CKs I begrudgingly saddled up the BYB mobile and battled the freelove freeway out to my nearest DFO. All the way there the traffic was banked up like fuck. With the sun streaming in through the windscreen, the gentle hum of the engine and the Pussycat Dolls pumping out on Fox fm I quickly became harder than Chinese algerbra. It was like my VR Commodore had sprouted an additional gear stick. With the traffic going nowhere fast I had to have three grease and oils just to pass the time.

When I finally got to DFO and found a park I was over the whole goddam expedition already. I locked the wheels and walked in through the big blast of air conditioning that they pump from above the sliding doors. My grumpy face soon filled with cheer- the place was full of GAP, and I don't mean the brand. A sea of high heels, hot pants, short skirts, crop tops and boob tubes bustled in front of me. Hot damn!

I locked on to a group of barely legals as they made their way out of Sportsgirl. The best one was a blonde Paris Hilton lookalike, her crispy orange skin reminded of the Peking duck I "practice shagged" in my formative years. I was just about to go spread a bit of my baste on her when my wandering eye caught sight of a much nicer piece. She was trying on a pair of white pumps in Pay-Less Shoes, her juicy thighs looked as good to me as the thighs of a KFC chook look to a fatster. As she struggled to get them on her arse just jiggled in front of me, teasing and tempting me. I thought to myself "Don't worry baby, Barred Young Buck has a shoe horn you can use". After she'd paid for the shoes I knew she'd be wanting to test 'em out properly.

I followed as she led me through the crowds, the problem with these places is there's no privacy. I eventually spotted a makeshift love den, a boarded up shop front with "Amanda's Hair Salon: Opening Soon" plastered all over it. Perfect. I grabbed little miss flirty rump around the waist like we were one of those boring couples who shop for home wares and led her into the dark. She was obviously a feisty one because she kicked her hot legs around a bit. That's ok, I can play rough too. I fumbled around the debris of the shop and found a pair of scissors. She was real quiet after that.

Another satisfied customer.