Question time with the Buck
Lately a few of my fans and satisfied conquests have rolled over, lit up and asked me 'Bee Why, what is it you like to do when you're not slipping lucky lasses that hard bar of yours? I mean, who IS the Barred Young Buck?'. It's understandable really - most of them have only ever worn me like an all-over body lotion. Some only feel me in the dark (when I'm working my alley beat late at night). Some catch a glimpse of the Ralph Lauren logo on my shirt as its buttons yield to my hard chest. The lucky ones might get an aerial view of me just before I swing my hips home. But they know nothing about me. And all they really need to know is that I can bore holes in their bodies with my flesh drill.
But now that I've got this here site, I'm starting to get fans. Voyeurs who want to read all about the fun I'm having for a buck, and who want to get to know who Barred Young Buck really is. Yeah, they're cheap - they don't pay for the thrill I provide, but they want to know the ins and outs of the King of In and Out.... what I like to eat, who I vote for, what I read, listen to, watch on The Box. I guess fame had to catch up with me some time.
Anyway, the easy answer is that I ain't never soft, and I ain't never out of The Box. But seeing as you ladies really do need that shit to get off, I'll tell you what I do when I'm not fucking for a living.
Here's my take on the big questions of the day:
On politics: The Liberal party has always had my vote. It's the ultimate choice for the free marketeer. I'm a small business man and I need all the tax avoidance breaks I can get. And John-Boy Howard might look like he's got a wiener in his pants, but he knows how to get those women shored up and ripe for the pluckin. It's simple - close the factories down and there's more seamstresses, secretaries, Public Relations executives and 'aspiring actresses' (waitresses, models and more than a few of my female counterparts) filing their nails on desolation row. It all adds up to more daytime booty calls on some under-used couch in front of Oprah, the midday movie and the daily soaps.
On other men: Men who aren't me are just dull. Their women are leaving them in droves. They're all baying for it these days - just turn on your TV and you'll see how much those birds want it. They'll even inflate their titties and line up to marry some random stranger on Joe Millionaire, they're that bored. There's tits on Video Hits, Big Brother, the OC... the news... hell, there's even tits on Rove (though I'd probably need to be offered a bit more to saddle him up). My theory is they need to get it out in public because their Daddies don't have the goods to keep em home.
On feminism: Look, these ladies love it the most. Feminism has given me more action than any other movement of the 20th century. Who is the ultimate feminist icon in the post-hairy pit age? That Samantha off Sex and the City, of course. She fucks like a truck too! These days, to fuck is to be femmo.
Got any questions for the Barred Young Buck? Hit me.
But now that I've got this here site, I'm starting to get fans. Voyeurs who want to read all about the fun I'm having for a buck, and who want to get to know who Barred Young Buck really is. Yeah, they're cheap - they don't pay for the thrill I provide, but they want to know the ins and outs of the King of In and Out.... what I like to eat, who I vote for, what I read, listen to, watch on The Box. I guess fame had to catch up with me some time.
Anyway, the easy answer is that I ain't never soft, and I ain't never out of The Box. But seeing as you ladies really do need that shit to get off, I'll tell you what I do when I'm not fucking for a living.
Here's my take on the big questions of the day:
On politics: The Liberal party has always had my vote. It's the ultimate choice for the free marketeer. I'm a small business man and I need all the tax avoidance breaks I can get. And John-Boy Howard might look like he's got a wiener in his pants, but he knows how to get those women shored up and ripe for the pluckin. It's simple - close the factories down and there's more seamstresses, secretaries, Public Relations executives and 'aspiring actresses' (waitresses, models and more than a few of my female counterparts) filing their nails on desolation row. It all adds up to more daytime booty calls on some under-used couch in front of Oprah, the midday movie and the daily soaps.
On other men: Men who aren't me are just dull. Their women are leaving them in droves. They're all baying for it these days - just turn on your TV and you'll see how much those birds want it. They'll even inflate their titties and line up to marry some random stranger on Joe Millionaire, they're that bored. There's tits on Video Hits, Big Brother, the OC... the news... hell, there's even tits on Rove (though I'd probably need to be offered a bit more to saddle him up). My theory is they need to get it out in public because their Daddies don't have the goods to keep em home.
On feminism: Look, these ladies love it the most. Feminism has given me more action than any other movement of the 20th century. Who is the ultimate feminist icon in the post-hairy pit age? That Samantha off Sex and the City, of course. She fucks like a truck too! These days, to fuck is to be femmo.
Got any questions for the Barred Young Buck? Hit me.
posted by barred young buck at 12:45 AM
7 Comments:
what food do you like to chow down on?
i get most of my protein from eating out, not taking away. hold the hollandaise though ladies!
sometimes the smell of a curried seafood pie will put me in the mood for mollusc, you know what i mean?
and i always make sure i eat lots of pineapple. that shit turns jiz to pina colada. santé, ladies!!
did you complete year 12?
err... next question please. i gotta retain some of that barred young buck mystique.
can you fuck off you cockspank
oh yeah. i can fuck off, i can fuck on, i can fuck up, down, left, right any wich way u wanna roll. i'm the BYB. Cominatcha!
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